


Pareidolia

by Calimero



Category: One Piece
Genre: Multi, POV Vinsmoke Sanji, Post-Wano Arc (One Piece), Slow Burn, Tags May Change, Wano Arc (One Piece), Wano Arc (One Piece) Spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22245115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Calimero/pseuds/Calimero
Summary: The war on Wano is finally over. Slowly the country and its people are cleansing their lands and their lives from the toxic presence of Kaido. Beautiful things start to grow between the barren lands surrounding Flower Capital. But at the end of the road, a decision has to be made.OrHow Sanji started noticing things.
Relationships: Kozuki Hiyori/Roronoa Zoro, Roronoa Zoro & Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 17
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, lovely people.  
> Welcome to the first fic I've written ever. Just so you know, English isn't my native language and the only writing experience I have is scientific, so don't expect it to be a good literary work. I started writing this to challenge myself and to experience what all the other writers go through. And man, respect to all authors out there. Coming up with an interesting or original plot, with in-character decision making, while indulging yourself, and still making it into a nice logical story is hard. I have to remind myself this is a creative exercise, not a paper to be published, and that I am allowed to make mistakes. So if you see things that are out of character, not logical, deus-ex-magina-ish or just plain stupid, well... let me know. I'm always up for feedback.  
> Enjoy!

He didn’t know he had missed it until he did, until he stood there back to back with the man he hated most of the time. With a loud “Huuuh!?” they acknowledge each others existence. In the tumult of the day, he caught himself thinking that in the middle of the horror that had happened around him, he could not have been happier. He felt awful that he felt like coming home while standing next to a mourning daughter, adding even more wood to the fire that was his hatred for the Wano rulers. But standing side to side, weapons and leg drawn with the intent to protect what was precious or die trying, felt like the best thing that had happened to him in all day. The moment didn’t last though, as Zoro shoved the laughing crying girl in his arms.

“You watch her.” Zoro said and took a stance Sanji knew all to well. The two-sword style that would pummel every weaker enemy. The magical feeling of reunion was instantly broken as it dawned him what Zoro had planned.

“What are you thinking! Why do you think…” Sanji shouted. “Tonoyasu sacrificed himself-…” But rage had won, and Zoro was dashing forward. The 120 pound canon did not hit the target. Orochi’s bodyguard deflected the attack with a simple flick of his sword, showing he would pose as a formidable enemy. But they should not be fighting at all. They should stay hidden, for the sake of the plan. If they would link the ronin to the uprising or figure out Luffies crew had gathered on Wano, the rebels would be put at a large disadvantage. Tonoyasu’s sacrifice would have been in vain.

“What do you think you’re doing!? Think clearly!” He yelled while trying to step in between Zoro and the bodyguard. A large roar behind him made him tense up. He turned and was just in time to jump up as a giant dinosaur clammed its enormous jaws around the air he had just occupied. From the corner of his eyes he saw Franky joining the fight, guarding a furious Zoro from a rain of bullets. Dread filled his heart as he saw all his nakama take up their weapons and stances one by one. This was not supposed to happen and was a huge risk for the operation, and yet he also felt a small amount of pride on the willingness of his nakama to protect each other.

As he heard one of Orochi’s ninjas mention they were Strawhat pirates his heart sank in his shoes. In one go his hesitance to fight was removed and replaced with aggressive but desperate excitement. They already knew who they were, lets show them why they should be trembling in fear.

“Sorry Usohachi!” Sanji proclaimed as he handed Toko to Usopp. The dinosaur was strong, he could not put the girl in danger by taking her along in the fight. Usopp would be able to get her to a safe place, he always knew best how to run to safety. Oh, had he been called a Vinsmoke? Now he could put all his attention into making clear he did not want to be called a Vinsmoke ever again, you bastard! Take this kick, and this one!

A sudden shriek broke through his fighting haze. The voice of a maiden! A beautiful lady is being attacked! She must be waiting for me to rescue-…! But as Sanji was still waiting for an opening to disengage from his fight with Drake, a green flash showed him Zoro had already taken it upon him to stop the assaulters from slashing one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen.

“What where you thinking!? You can’t let them follow you!” Zoro yelled while running away with the lady wrapped in his arms. “Sir Zorojuro, my apologies! I did hide my face, but.. ” She said as she pressed her face in his chest out of shame and gratefulness. A stake went through Sanji’s heart. A mix of shock, anger and heartbreak flowed through him. That beautiful lady was friends with that mosshead? The most unsociable buffoon in history!? The one person who can’t see beauty even if compared to Brook’s ugly skull?!! This could not be, he had to go and safe the lady from this horrendous fate. But the two were already to far away.

Several minutes passed, but the fight yielded no victor. A shout filled the field. “Trafalgar Law has been captured!” The armed ninja pulled away shortly to watch the reaction of their leader, leaving the panting and confused Strawhats behind in the laughing mess. Sanji and Robin’s eyes crossed and a decision was made. As in union they ordered their nakama to retreat. Miraculously, the ninja let them.

\----

“HE WHAT!?”

“Yes you heard me correctly, he was asleep with miss’ beautiful head resting on his chest. Yohohoho~!”

“On his..!?” And then he could say no more. All words had left Sanji. Dumbfound as he was he could only utter some kind of non-comprehensive mumbling. Around him Nami was almost literally rolling around with laughter, as if it was the best punchline Brook had ever told. Kinemon was clapping in his hands while he cracked up, and even Robin showed a smirk. But to Sanji it was not a joke. Far from it. It was his worst nightmare. For that tarnished chest to have touched the soft cheeks of the most beautiful woman many had laid their eyes on, for that excrement of a sword man to have felt the warmth of the pearl of Wano on top of him, for that troglodyte incapable of appreciation of beauty to have received the most precious gift a man can ask for. It was a disgrace, it was unthinkable, it was… a shock.

For it should have been him. It should have been he who felt the warmth, to let his hands feel the skin, to smell the slight scent of bodily odours mingled with earth and wood. It should have been him to hold Hiyori in his arms. Of course. He deserved it, not that ape.

It was only a few days before the day of the festival, and almost everyone had gathered in Amigasa Village. The wounds from their last confrontation had started to heal nicely, and more and more allies had showed up. They were still waiting for Zoro and Luffy to join them. As to have a break from all the chaos and dread, Brook had arranged a small party at one of the campfires. Some liquor was dug up from the rations and a makeshift shakuhachi was made from a thick bamboo stick. Brook had played a few tunes and people had been merry. Until he had spoken about the moment Brook found Zoro in a remote house in the Northern Cemetery, and not alone. As he told the tale the festive mood went to shit completely. Well, for one person at least. Nami’s eyes were gleaming as she was prying for more juicy details. Brook had to swear on his live (although he is already dead, yohoho) that they had been fully clothed and with no sign of “action”. Although it was too horrendous to even think about, knowing that had calmed the chef, if only a little. It was a relief to know the blooming flower had not been tainted by moss.

His brooding was broken by Nami asking for more snacks. Of course he jumped up and went to prepare a fruit platter of sorts. As he went around with the platter, receiving numerous flattering comments from the ladies around the village, his spirit was lifted again. However, deep inside frustrated thoughts kept boiling. This only became worse after he found out the beautiful Kikunojo was actually a man.

\----

The return of one of the Nine Red Scabbards had been a teary and happy one, but was quickly followed up with an important strategy conference. Seven of the Nine had gathered, ships where being repaired, the prospect of a 5000 man army was not unthinkable, and Hiyori was alive.

“That rough-and-tumble tomboy has become polite and refined? She has really grown!” Kin’emon cried out with pride in his voice. With his pinkie he wiped away a single tear.

“Where is she now, does she need protection?”

“Do not worry, she is safe.”

“I am just so happy, so happy to hear this!”

The samurai cumulatively let go of a long sigh, as if a huge weight had been taken of their shoulder. Although it was not spoken of, many had feared for the worst after they had heard Kawamatsu had been taken to prison. Momonosuke jumped up and down out of happiness. After hugging Kin’enom he turned to Zoro, who had been sitting silently just outside of the group. 

“You saved her, didn’t you Zorojuro. You have my thanks. Hiyori can be a bit coarse, but she’s actually a softy and a cry baby, and…”

“Oi, Momo. How long d’ya think she’d have stayed that way? She is 18 years older than you now, you know?” A small affectionate smile played around on Zoro’s lips. “But yea, she is still a bit of a cry baby.” He laughed out loud at Momo’s image of an eighteen year older woman giving her “elder brother” a flying kick. Then it dawned to Sanji. Like a heavy anchor hitting the bottom of the sea, a shockwave spread around through his body. Oh no.

“That babe that was with you earlier?!” That godly creature that had been held by the swordsman’s arms. That otherworldly face that had felt the movement of the mossheads chest as he breathed in and out. Jealousy grabbed Sanji, so Sanji grabbed Momo by the face and asked him if there was anything he wanted. Better please the brother. It irritated him immensely. The ruffian just sat there, looking all smug like he did not care he had spent intimate time with the most desired concubine in history who also turned out to be the daughter of no one else than the powerful Udon.

While still squeezing Momo’s head, Sanji noticed a fancy chest was taken out by Hitetsu, the winged man with a long nosed mask. The chest contained two swords, so beautifully adorned even Sanji could appreciate the sight. Sanji let go of Momo and Hitetsu offered one of the swords to the child. Everyone laughed as the child turned into a dragon out of shock. Momo spoke in a stutter as he declined the sword, saying he would appreciate it if Hitetsu would like to hold on it for now. Of course not because he was scared of it or anything!

Sanji had assumed the swords would be put away again, but Hitatsu took out the other sword and offered it to Zoro.

“Now then..” Hitetsu said. “I hear that Enma belongs to you!” This surprised Sanji more than hearing that one female samurai was actually a man. How had the marimo achieved this? The sword belongs to the children of Udon, to Momo and… Oh. So… She had given him… HIM (!) her precious sword. An important heirloom. Sanji could only guess what had happened between the two for Hiyori to entrust her precious heirloom to this brute.

Quietly Sanji watched as Zoro drew the blade and tested its swing. Naturally, Zoro cut off part of the cliff and the sword drained Zoro’s sword arm. Sure, a sword can do that. Well, he couldn’t really be surprised after seeing all kinds or weird shit the last few years. He did have to admit the new sword suited Zoro, suited his energy. The excitement of a new powerful sword was clear on Zoro’s face. Sanji felt some of the excitement rubbing off on him, who would not get infected by the happiness of a friend doing a thing they are very passionate about, and he smiled.

-

If the few days before the festival had been intense, than festival itself had been agonizing. Still, it could have been worse. It seemed like the gods were supporting Wano residences on its quest of independence. Who could have predicted that the weather had calmed just as the festival started? Or that a large part of Kaido’s army had digested a whole factory worth of pollution due to a faulty food delivery and had the runs? Wano must have used up all its good karma by now.

But even with lady luck on their side, the fight had been hard. Two Yonko joined forces is no joke. With the hardship of Whole Cake Island still fresh on their mind, the news of the alliance between Kaido and Big Mom had taken a toll on the morale. A big speech by Momonosuke had done wonders to strengthen the will of Wano, but conviction had not been enough to tip the odds. The fight had been long and hard. Not many can imagine the slaughter that took place on Onigashima. Blood was everywhere, death was behind every corner.

In the middle of the horror, the news that Hiyori had been recognised and taken captive by Kaido’s forces spread around the Wano resistance as a ripple of desperation. Coted in fury and rage, the Strawhats and the Nine Red Scabbards had stormed Kaido’s HQ. Eventually, they found Hiyori, but at the same time Big Mom and Kaido had found them. During the fight that would determine Hiyori’s fate, Tama came out of hiding and sprang from Komachiyo’s tail. Together with Usopp she managed to get a dumpling inside the mouth of Kaido. Kaido was strong and managed to mentally overcome her Devil fruit power, but not before they commanded him to do the thing only he could do. Kill Big Mom.

Big Mom’s forces where furious, and rapidly the Beasts Pirates and Big Mom Pirates were slaughtering each other, parallel to the allied forces from Wano who still struggled with the Beasts. This was to much for Kaido. Weakened and overpowered, he fled with as many troops as he could with the remaining Big Mom Pirates on his tail.

The fight was over. Wano had won, at least for now.

Still many fought for their lives. Chopper and Law had facilitated a makeshift central hospital in Habu port and had been running around treating and operating as many people as they could. Luffy had overextended himself again and had been asleep for a few days. Aside from Nami having a heavy concussion, the rest of the crew got away with less serious injuries.

The time it took for Luffy to wake up had been enough for treating the living and cremating the dead. The Nine Red Scabbards along with loyal yakuza led by Hyogoro had taken reign of the country. The atmosphere among them was heavy with a confusing mix of happiness and mourning as The Nine Red Scabbards had shrunk from seven to six. They had to set aside their sadness for now, as the next important thing was to shut down the factories and build new farms. The people needed to be fed, mourning the dead had to wait. The first factories had already been taken down, but the land needed to heal, along with the souls of the people, before it could provide again. So food was still scarce, even with access to food previously only available for the higher classes. A communal dinner had been provided each day, so people would have a moment to come together and share their hardship, talk about the future and even celebrate a little.

The crew had had a meeting on the Sunny, talking about their next step in the quest for One Piece. Nami had shows a couple of very old maps showing a small line of unknown archipelagos going from Wano to the direction of their original quest. Together with Robin she had translated and interpret the foreign inscriptions. The islands were said to have a very low magnetic field which meant they could not be found with log poses alone. The sea currents around the islands were perfect for the next leg of their journey. Traveling along the island line would essentially be a shortcut. Their climates were described as moderate, as full of fresh water and their ecosystems as vibrant but uninhabited, so them running out of food and water was unlikely. It was perfect. Their trip would be fast, they would stay fed and they would not run into difficult enemies. They would depart as soon as Chopper and Law were finished making a SMILE antidote. Now, as Chopper couldn’t give an estimated date yet they had to make do with a “between a couple of days or a few weeks from now” and he would let them know as soon as possible. Luckily, there was plenty to do and help around the island.

That is where we have Sanji. Standing in the middle of a giant makeshift kitchen, ordering his underlings to cut this, to bake that, to stir the soup. Head chef of Flower Capital’s main food distribution point, located ironically in Ebisu. And Sanji was frustrated.

Now, Sanji is not a stranger to frustration. He knew the feeling all to well. But this time it was too much to handle. Here, standing in the middle of all those people creating food. It was just painful to not be able to join them, having a broken wrist and all. Of all things he could have broken, he had broken his dominant hand. His luck, really. He had tried, with all his power, to cook with just one hand, but to avail. This is one of those moments Sanji cursed not being perfectly ambidextrous. All he could do was give orders. Things such as “Yes, now put it on a simmer.”, “This needs more leek. Where is the leek?”, “Stop! No! That is not how you cut unions!” and “Look out with that knife!” where not rare. Sanji really needed a smoke.

“Aaagh!” Even lighting a cigarette was impossible.

“You think you can take me on? I’ll rip you to pieces you bastard!” Now _that_ was most definitely not something Sanji heard the past few days. He turned his head to see Kid and Law standing somewhere back in the line. It was a comical sight. A row of many hungry citizens patiently waiting for their dinner, and in the middle two of the Worst Generation, fighting about their place in the line.

“You’d better know your place. I was on this fucked island first, so I get my food before you.”

“How stupid are ya. This is a line. First come first serve, and I stood in _this line_ before ya.”

“You think I’m stupid heu?! Have you ever looked into a mirror? You’d have to be the most ridiculous person alive to tattoo “Death” on your fingers. And what is with that ugly tattoo on your chest.”

“That’s it. Here and now, you versus me. Lets settle this once and for all.” Law drew his sword and prepared to hit Kid in the face with the hilt, but before he could do anything Kid kicked him in the middle of his chest. Bystanders quickly backed away to make space for the pushed pirate, not willing to become collateral damage. Grinding his teeth, Law stood up and threw himself on Kid. Kid was already stretching out his metal arm, and Sanji felt his metal lighter shaking. Oh shit.

“Quick everyone, hold on to your cutlery! Kitchen staff, hold all the pots and pans!” Sanji shouted to all people nearby, knowing what was about to come. Not long after that, he saw several iron plates and spoons fly towards Kid, adding to his metal arm. Everyone carrying a sword, or any other metal object for that matter, had to stand their ground or be pulled of balance. Confused faces reminded Sanji that not everyone here knew about Kid’s Devil fruit powers. After he heard a scared cry coming from one of the ladies still standing in the line, he had had enough. Fighting was fine, but scaring a precious lady was out of the question.

“Hey, fucktards! Can you at least be civilised and take this outside!?” Sanji screamed to the two man heavily engaged in a clash of metal. And even in the midst of battle, the pirates took a moment to contemplate this.

“Bet’ya you can’t beat me without all that metal around.”

“You’d wish, shithead. I’ll stomp you.

“Oh yea, prove it.” Whilst continuing their banter and punches, they slowly moved along the main road leading out of the village. Once they where out of sight and plumes of aggravated dust showed they had taken the fight up a notch, people dared to let go of each other.

It was only then that Sanji noticed that not once since the start of the fight had he felt any killing intent coming from either Law, or more surprisingly, Kid. It even felt like there was some respect flowing between the two. This all felt oddly familiar to him. Which reminded him, had he even seen Zoro around since the end of the siege on Onigashima?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter one done! The first part might have been familiar. I might have almost copy pasted a lot of dialog from certain chapters of the manga. I hope Oda doesn't mind. Playing around with the canon happenings is fun. 
> 
> I've finished four chapters, but I might delete the last two and take the story a different direction. Therefore, an update might take a while. Also, the title has no connection with the story (but perhaps it will? maybe?). See it as a working title. I'll think of a better one someday perhaps.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, people had been fed and were slowly returning to their respective homes. After a few days of chaos and sleeping wherever the bed was empty or the ground was softest, finally more comfortable sleeping arrangements had been found in the Flower Capital. The ladies had been offered a place to sleep by a sweet elderly couple, and the rest of the Strawhats had been offered one of the barracks previously occupied by a bunch of Kaido’s men. Although it smelt horribly like men-sweat and beer, Sanji couldn’t complain too much. He was happy to have received a roof over his head and a futon to sleep comfortably. Although he would never admit it, the smell somehow reminded him of the men’s quarters at the Sunny and slightly made him feel more at home. The smell of sweat also reminded him that he had not bathed for more than a few days.

His visit to the communal bath had been a horrible experience. That damned broken arm. Not only did he make a fool of himself by almost getting strangled in his clothes, but also someone had to help him wash and dry. It was good that the bath had been men only, if a woman had seem him flail he would have been so embarrassed! Law, who had been there along with Chopper and Pinguin, had seen him struggling and had been so kind to volunteer to help. As men among each other, being naked had been very normal and being touched by another stark naked man hadn’t made him blush at all. He had most definitely not had to stop himself from ogling Law’s tattoos.

After his bath was finished he had slowly fled the bathhouse and had stepped onto the lantern lid streets with a confident stride. Although horrifying, the bath had been functional. The smell of flower scented body wash followed Sanji everywhere he went and he loved it. Finally feeling clean again felt so good! The evening was still young so Sanji thought it would be a shame not to take advantage of his good mood. It would be a waste not to share it with the beautiful ladies around town.

As if on cue a handful of young maidens appeared from around the corner, quietly talking and giggling among each other. What a sight it was. Their colourful kimonos were fluttering in the breeze, their hair was tucked up with sparkling ornamental hair pins, their young faces were carefully made up with the soft hued paints. Sanji almost couldn’t hold his excitement. After mentally flipping through a few possible pickup lines he approached the group. Like a true artist he put a small frown on his face and looked around in confusion.

“My dear ladies, could you perhaps help me find my way. I’m afraid I’ve gotten lost in your eyes.” He turned to the most mature looking lady and finished with his brightest smile. The ladies hid behind their fans and giggled even more. Sanji gave himself a mental pad on the shoulder. Perfectly executed.

“Don’t be ashamed, good sir. At your old age it is common to forget your route. Here, let us accompany you to the Shogi hall. The elderly are having a games night. Perhaps you might find a more suited companion.” The lady spoke with proud confidence, but contradicting her words, also with a slightly interested gleam in here eyes. Oh, she was a feisty one.

“Oof, you hurt me. Your beauty is no inferior to your wit. But be assured, though I may look mature my physique is still in its prime. Perhaps you could lead me to the best restaurant in town. I would love to treat you for dinner.” 

“A gentleman such as yourself should know it is improper for an unwed lady to be seen with a stranger after sunset, as handsome as they may be.”

“Then lead me to your parents. Let me get their permission. For a vision such as yourselves to be denied from the world would be a crime.” And so on, and so on. Sanji could not get enough of it. Even though he knew he would not get a date out of it, he enjoyed the game. The battle of words between two willing participants was one of the greatest thing of a man-woman relationship, next to him doting on said woman of course. He even got the pleasure of walking alongside of the group for a while and was just retorting a witty flirt when he saw something green from the corner of his eye which immediately caught his attention.

Just on the other side of the street, Zoro was walking next to Hiyori. And the bastard was smiling. Not one of his scary smiles reserved for showing his pleasure in fighting, but a small sweet smile of actual contentment. Sanji didn’t even know Zoro could smile like that! It seemed he was even joking with her, judging on the way they where laughing about something he said. And the look in Hiyori’s eyes, the ways she casually touched him every now and then. Might they be…

“Gentlemen-san, are you alright?” The young lady laid her hand on his arm to get his attention. Sanji immediately snapped out of his daze and turned back to his company.

“Ah, yes… I’m sorry, this is most discourteous of me. Please remind me, what was I saying?”

Sanji took pride in himself for carrying on the flirtish banter like it was never interrupted, and continued to chaperone the ladies for a few more blocks. His mind, however, was only partly there. A part of him kept thinking about the scene he had just witnessed. Eventually the ladies had arrived at their destination, and with a bow, a kiss on the hand, and his trademark smile Sanji said goodbye to the ladies and contemplated what he would do next.

Although he had planned to enjoy the city life until the early hours, he didn’t feel like it anymore. He could just return to his temporary residence. And then what, sleep? No. Sanji would not let anything caused by that damned bastard to ruin his mood, he would not lose even when they were not fighting. What would Hiyori think of him then? Sanji was going to go to a bar, wow a couple of girls, only return to the barracks at the break of dawn, and he was not going to let the mosshead stop him in any way. 

\---

Seven hours, three bars, ten cans of sake, six wowed ladies and one drunken make-out session in a back ally later Sanji returned to the barracks. Luffy, Usopp and Chopper were already sprayed across the floor, snoring softly. Brook and Franky where in their respective resting modes, or whatever an almost robot and a skeleton did instead of sleep. The futon in the far corner, Zoro’s futon, was still noticeably untouched. 

“Sanjiiii, foooood!”

“Yes, yes. Ungn… Gimme a minute.” Reluctantly ripped from his sleep and with a massive hangover, Sanji tried to shove the drooling hump of flesh called Luffy from his chest and get up on his feet. The task was most difficult and the desire to crawl back into his warm and fluffy futon increased with each heavy movement he made. The fact that Luffy had actually gotten hold of one of his legs wasn’t making anything easier.

“Luffy,” Sanji said in a voice drenched with contained anger, “if you won’t rid yourself of my leg in five seconds, the only thing that I will make you eat is mashed broccoli with spinach. Five.. four… three… “

“Noo! No evil vegetables. You poison meeee!” While shedding a lot of fake tears, Luffy let go of Sanji’s leg and crawled, literally crawled like he had not eaten for months, towards the living quarters. Pirate King, yea right. Drama King more likely.

“Unngh.” The person who thought drinking a lot of alcohol was ever a good idea really needed to sober up. Well, he couldn’t really blame anyone other than himself. At least Sanji knew exactly the right food for curing a hangover, due to the curtesy of a certain alcoholic on who he could test his culinary arts. Speaking of said alcoholic, Sanji turned his head to see Zoro’s futon still in the same position as it was when Sanji last saw it. A wave of nausea welled up from his stomach, and Sanji rushed to the toilet. Great.

When he was sure his stomach could not be emptier and Chopper made sure he was alright, he got rid of the lipstick smudges still on his face and struggled himself in the clothes he miraculously managed to take of the night before. Though it took a while, this time he managed fine all by himself thank you very much.

The kitchen of the barracks was meagre, but most basic ingredients and some simple pots and pans where there. Though he liked to stay truth to the local cuisine, he really craved banana pancakes. Even with one hand he should be able to so such a simple thing. Yes, yes, Luffy, he would also make some beacon pancakes, but contrary to popular belief, greasy food only makes the hangover worse.

Soon he had prepared a humongous pile of pancakes and was eating breakfast among his nakama.

“…, and then I said to him ‘Three bunny-sharks? I’ve fought at least twenty of them, at the same time!’ and then the yellow samurai was so impressed that he gave me all his pickles. And that is how the Great Usopp rescued a whole village from famine yesterday!”

“Whaah, Usopp you are so cool. One day I will also be as brave as you!” Chopper said, beaming with wonder. “Yesterday I only helped Law developing a prototype of a medicine that can reverse the effect of SMILE, but your day sounds way more awesome!”

“Whaaw that is SUPER! Now our bro’s from Ebisu town can finally smile normally again.”

“Yes indeed, I can’t imagine what it would feel like smiling all the time. Though practically I’m always smiling my teeth bare yohoho.”

“I-I don’t like it at all when y-you complement me!” The guys snickered at Choppers failed rejection of the praise. With a smile Sanji ruffled Choppers head. This little genius could be so adorable.

“I wonder what Zoro-bro did yesterday. I have not seen him since the dinner. Perhaps he got in a fight with the tiger again and has a SUPER story to tell.” Well, a story to tell Zoro had indeed, but Sanji wasn’t sure he would like to hear it.

“I’m sure he just got lost somewhere and slept in the gutter. Anyways, who wants more pancakes?” And instantly the subject of Zoro was traded in for a chorus demanding the craziest types of pancakes (really, Franky, cola pancakes?). Food never failed to change the subject. Until Luffy brought it back in the worst way possible.

“Such a shame the rest has to miss al these amazing pancakes.” Luffy looked pensive for a while. “Hmm.. Yes. Sanji, go and bring the others their pancakes!”

“A very good idea! ~Nami-chan and Robin-swan will be delighted by the orange and strawberry pancakes I’ll make for them~.”

“And don’t forget Zoro! Shi shi, perhaps you can make his pancakes green or something.” Luffy snickered. Sanji’s dreamy expression disappeared and a scowl appeared on his face. Sanji really didn’t want to know where Zoro had been hiding. God knows what he might encounter.

“Tsh, why should I bring him pancakes? We don’t even know where he is.”

“Then.. go find him!” A giant smile was plastered on Luffy’s face, like it was the best idea ever. “You are our cook, so you should feed everyone of the crew. That is an order! Franky, Usopp, I found this giant tree somewhere at that castle in the city, lets use it to make the world’s largest swing ever!” And the three proceeded to make ridiculous plans for a ridiculously big swing on the plant harbouring the Orochie Castle. Sanji grumbled something about stupid captains and stupid orders and went back to the cooking station. Orders where orders, and what was Sanji if not loyal to his captain.

\--

Nami and Robin had already had breakfast and were having a last cup of tea together with their hosts before they left for their daily pursuits. They had invited Sanji for a cup, which he joyfully accepted. Robin enthusiastically told him about her progress with the poneglyph inside of the Orochi Castle. Sanji didn’t understand most of what she said, but seeing her talking so passionately really made Sanji warm inside. Nami had been digging inside the castles treasury and had found very old treasure maps which she was deciphering. Sanji promised that he would go with her on the treasure hunt once she had the map figured out, which she made him swear on his next payday. Not that he would ever decline a request of help from his most beloved navigator.

Too soon they had to go and about, taking with them the pancakes as perfect snacks for on the road. Sanji had waved after them until they were far out of sight, postponing his dreaded task for as long as he could. But all good things come to an end, and so Sanji set food on his journey. He had some ideas where he might find the ruffian, the pubs in town being the closest. The pubs were excluded in no time, as to Sajni’s pleasant surprise none was opened before the sun reached way past its highest point.

The next place he searched was the Kendo hall. But alas, no green to be seen there. Both the late Yakuza HQ and the Bath house where clear of moss. There was always the red light district, late residence of Komurasaki. But no. Zoro wouldn’t be there... right?

So no Zoro inside of the city, then where the hell could the bastard be. Wano was a big island. Looking without at least a single simple hint would only be time wasting. The pancakes would be rotten once he found him.

“Really, he had green hair? That is quite unusual isn’t it. Is that one of the new rages now a days? Look, that young man dyed his hair yellow!” His hair was blond thank you very much, and as natural as can be. Sanji overheard two elder man talking to each other as he walked out of the capital. Luck was on his side.

“Oh youngsters these days. Dyeing their hair and climbing Fujiyama. Back in the old days we would be working on the lands. Those where the times, I tell you.” And the man continued to reminisce about how much better it was when he was young, understandable after having to live under Kaido’s reign for twenty years. But they had given him a clue! There was only one path that led form Flower Capital to the foot of Fujiyama. He prayed to Lady Luck to stand by him for a little longer, for the airhead to not have wandered off the path.

He followed the path for a while, and eventually found familiar footsteps where the ground became slightly muddy. It led to at crossroad with one trail leading up the mountain and the other leading towards a dense bamboo forest. The footsteps went up to the mountains and back a few times, and finally decided to go to the bamboo forest after all. Typical.

It was a beautiful forest. The stalks that shot meters into the sky blocked most of the sunlight with a plume of leaves, like a blanked draped over several sticks. The light that did came through had taken on a yellow-green hue, giving the forest a magical feel. Slabs of wood and stone had been laid on the ground to prevent the bamboo from overrunning the path. Apart from the sound of rustling leaves and his own footsteps, there was no sound. Sanji breathed in and fresh air filled his lungs. Yes, he could appreciate this place.

Then, very softly, he heard voices coming from somewhere ahead, where the stalk density was growing thinner. A male baritone, unmistakably Zoro. Lady Luck must really like Sanji today! Sanji increased his pace, but stopped when he had almost reached the clearing.

There in the middle of the clearing stood Zoro, chest to back with Hiyori, guiding her arms with his hands as they lift a sword, softly speaking into her ears, both blushing slightly.

Yea, fuck that.

Sanji dropped the knapsack with the seaweed flavoured pancakes, onigiri and jasmine tea, turned around, managed to lit a cigarette and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I applaud my bf for coming up with these most horrible cheesy pickup lines. Couldn't have written this without him. 
> 
> Whattayaguysthink?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to not rewrite chapter 3 and 4 and just post them. This is what I came up with and I'm surely not going to make something better. 
> 
> Also: fuck perfectionism! Who cares if this story is bad right?   
> Apart from the ones who actually read it...  
> Well... at least I had fun writing it :P

When Sanji had returned to the barracks after a hours spent wandering around the island, he just saw Hiyori leaving from the front door. What was she doing here, was Zoro around? When Hiroyi noticed Sanji she perked up and quickly walked towards him.

The earlier encounter in the bamboo forest was quickly forgotten at the sight of her beauty. The way her eyes sparkled from under those endless eyelashes, her hands as she tucked her hair behind her ears, the curves of her body almost but not quite hidden away under her kimono had such an effect on Sanji. It was no surprise she had been the most wanted concubine before. She was perfection in every way. Whatever she wanted from him, he would give her.

Her naturally red lips parted and she spoke in a voice soft as flower pedals. Sanji had to rip his eyes from those rosy lips before his blood pressure shot to the sky. “You are Zoro’s comrade right? What was your name again, Sami, Saki, ah… Sanji! I was looking for you just now. You made us the delicious bento box?” She was looking for him? What an honour!

“Yes my dear! I’m so honoured you remembered my name!” Sanji bowed and kissed her hand. “What may I do for you, Hiyori-swan?”

“Oh, I just wanted to return you the bento box. Your skeleton friend opened the door for me, so I already put it near the cooking pit. I hope you don’t mind.” She flashed a smile so brilliant Sanji had to averts his eyes. He had been so rude to not notify his presence before, but still she was grateful. This showed that her beauty was only on par with her kindness.

“You could have kept the box and still make me happy, my lady. For you to have graced me with your presence is more than I could wish for. Can I perhaps offer you a drink, something to eat?”

“I’d love to stay and chat a bit, but I have a meeting with the Scabbards. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed the food. Zoro really didn’t exaggerate when he told me about your cooking. I’d love to enjoy more of your creations.” Sanji was glad to hear that at least all of his hard work had not merely been wasted on the ungrateful bastard of a swordsman.

“Your words flatter me! Perhaps I can cook you dinner sometime? It would be my pleasure.”

“That would be wonderful. Are you perhaps available tomorrow? Let me offer my place. Our household holds a few of the rarest spices and some of the newest cooking technologies which I’d love to make available to your talents. It would be the least I can do to thank you for helping Wano.”

“No thanks is needed, my lady. I would not be able to stand by and see all the beauty of this country suffer any longer! To be allowed to cook in your kitchen would be an honour.”

“The pleasure is all mine.” Hiyori smiled sweetly and looked at Sanji’s hand. “Will you manage with your injuries?”

“Oh, what is a broken hand but a minor inconvenience. For you I’d do anything.” Hiyori smiled shyly.

“At what time shall we meet? Somewhere late afternoon? Yes? Here is my address. See you tomorrow then.” Hiyori fetched a pen and piece of paper from her sleeves and wrote down her address in a beautiful cursive handwriting. With a gracious movement, Hiyori turned and walked down the street. Sanji could not believe it. Did he just manage to get a date with Hiyori? Maybe his understanding of her relationship with Zoro was just a big misunderstanding. Who knows, perhaps Zoro really was just playing a good bodyguard and was only teaching her swordsmanship out of safety reasons. This was amazing! Though it was only a dinner, perhaps if he impressed her enough she would want a second date. Just the thought alone thrilled him. Oh he would be so romantic, he would show her how much better a proper gentleman could treat her. He would take her out to visit the best café in town, go to an aquarium (do they have an aquarium in Wano?), treat her to the most delicious and exquisite food (handmade of course) and finish it off with watching firework together (if no firework, stars will do). Safe to say Sanji could not contain his hype.

\----

Later that day Wano was hit with a minor setback. While shutting down one of the factories, a gas leak had caused an explosion. Though there were no heavy casualties, the toxic fumes that leaked from the broken containers got taken by the wind. The wind was strong and took a clear path, but the villages laying in its wake had to be evacuated. They had been offered temporary shelter at Ebisu Town until the air was deemed free of toxins. For the villagers this meant accommodation, sustenance and safety, for Sanji that meant more mouths to feed while still working at less than half his usual speed. If his old man would see how he was struggling with the most simple dishes, he would get smacked around the kitchen for sure.

But Sanji didn’t mind. The prospect of his date made him feel like floating. It didn’t matter that he had to push his hands past the limit to be able to keep up on the demand for food, he didn’t mind that his underlings where getting more clumsy by the minute, and he also didn’t care as much that Luffy actually had the guts to stand in the line for a second round, or a third. No, Sanji was already in heaven. Every now and then a drop of blood flowed from his nose out of excitement.

At the end of the evening he and his chefs were pooped, and Sanji had been very happy to climb into his futon long before the others. Just one more night and day to go and then he would have his date!

He was woken by a sharp pain in his hands. His hands had not liked being pushed the day before and were now complaining with every move he made. A very short burst of panic shot through his body, but was quickly repressed. Sanji would be fine, Sanji was a professional. He didn’t need fully functional hands to perform. He would just go to the market and think of a very simple dish. Though not too simple of course, Hiyori only deserved the best of the best.

As he woke before his crewmates, he could take his time preparing breakfast. Nothing big, just some rice and toppings. Cutting the vegetables and meat was annoying and frying them even more, but he managed to finish just in time before Luffy nearly threw himself at the low dining table. The rest of the crew followed soon. At the sound of heavy boots on the wooden floor Sanji was pulled from his happy Hiyori haze. The look of Zoro standing in the doorway painfully brought back the memories of that rare sappy smile, of those strong arms wrapped around that frail body. A flare of a familiar nausea welled from his stomach and Sanji’s once good mood completely turned around.

“Look who came to grace us with his presence.” Sanij said with a sneer as he brought the food to the table. Zoro only grunted to that and sat down with a thud after which the swordsman crossed his arms and failed to supress a yawn. Sanji felt anger bubble under his skin and gave Zoro a hard kick on the head.

“Auch! Shitty cook! What did I do this time!?” Sanji growled at that.

“Just cover your mouth or something. Nobody wants to see what the inside of your mouth looks like. And the air coming from it.. really how long ago is it that you brushed your teeth? You are disgusting.”

“Oi, your face is disgusting.” Zoro grumbled in response, oddly not really looking like he wanted a fight.

“No, your face…”

“Sanjiiii, foooood!” Luffy said as he grabbed Sanji’s leg. With a last growl Sanji put down the plates and took a seat as far away from the swordsman as possible and the crew continued the breakfast calmly. Well, as calm as the Strawhats can be, with Usopp’s story telling, Luffy’s yelling, Brook’s bad skeleton jokes, Franky’s super and Chopper’s giggles. Apparently the swing had been a big success, until some serious looking botanists had come and had begged for them to leave the sacred tree alone. The botanists had come prepared and had asked Nami to come along, for a fair price of course, to scold and convince the boys in a ruthless way only she could do. 

Sanji listened with half an ear. His mind kept focussing on the swordsman. Every now and then Zoro and Sanji would cross eyes and every time again Sanji burned with anger and shot the bastard deathly glares. After one time looking each other in the eye a bit too long, Zoro put down his bowl with rice.

“Seriously man. What is your problem. Can’t you just let me eat in peace?!” No, Sanji couldn’t.

“I was just having such a nice morning, and then you had to show me your ugly face. You managed to ruin my perfectly fine day, so that’s my problem.”

“What?!”

“You heard me. I was experiencing this most amazing mood this morning, but you had to ruin it with your ugly face. So apologise.”

“… Seriously?! Do you seriously think I’m just gonna apologise for that?”

“Yes, you are.” Sanji said with a growl.

“Are you mad?! No fucking way! I’m not having this.” Zoro looked furious as he quickly shoved the rest of his breakfast in his mouth, stood up and took his swords.

“What, you’re going to fight me?” Sanji prepared for the usual by tensing his muscles and readying for the first sign of Zoro pulling out his swords and striking that would follow. But the hit stayed out, none of the swords was flashed. Zoro was still angry, Sanji was sure of it, but it looked like he just remembered something which caused him to contain his aggression.

“Actually, I have better things to do.” Zoro said as he walked to the door. He turned around once his hand found the door handle and flashed an evil grin. “Hey Chopper,” he said, “Don’t bother with Sanji’s hands. He is worth the pain.” And with that he disappeared on the streets, leaving the room filled with a weird silence until it was broken by Usopp. “Well, that was different.”

Sanji had stubbornly tried to continued his breakfast, but was disrupted by Chopper who forced Sanji out of the living room to undergo doctors examination. Not even a request from the first mate could stop the doctor from making sure his crewmembers were alright.

“Sanji,” Chopper started after examining the cook’s hands. “Your unbroken hand is seriously overworked. And you must have been using your broken hand as well. You must be in serious pain! Why didn’t you say anything?” Sanji could never lie to Chopper, most definitely not when the guy had such a look of worry in his eyes. Sanji let out a sigh and showed a sheepish smile.

“Well, you know. I couldn’t just stand by when all those refugees needed to eat.”

“Oh Sanji.” Chopper became teary at the thought of his friend pushing himself and his precious hands just so strangers could have a full stomach. “You know what? I’ll give you some pain meds, wrap your hands with healing balm, and talk to the people in Ebisu about you not cooking for them tonight.”

“Oh you don’t have to, I already…”

“Already what?”

“Oh, never mind.” Sanji had already talked to the cooks yesterday about his leave, but he’d rather not explain himself for taking the day of to Chopper, or anyone for that matter. That would stay his little wonderful secret for now. Instead he directed the conversation to something he knew would distract the little guy. “How is the SMILE antidote going?”

\----

After he had gathered some necessary ingredients from the market and dressed himself in his most fancy suit Sanji went to the address Hiyori had written down. It was up in the richer district of Flower City. The mansions here where surrounded with high walls which protected lush gardens and elegant houses. Not unfitting for the Princess of Wano and late most idolised concubine, Sanji thought. A lady-servant was already waiting at the gate to take the groceries and guide Sanji in. Inside the walls Sanji noticed a few girls and ladies working on the garden, others just hanging around or playing. Even inside, every room was occupied by a few. And their beauty... Sanji truly had stepped into heaven! He had to use all his willpower not to release the fountain of none bleeds that were trying to break free. The most powerful resolve however couldn’t prevent a drop to escape at the sight of his hostess.

She looked beautiful and poised. She wore a light green kimono, with white doves and flowers painted on the cloth that draped around her and showed just a little bit of skin. She stood tall, with a reserved and elegant small smile on her rose coloured lips. All Sanji could do is bow for her grace. She accepted Sanji’s bow and kiss on the hand and smiled.

“You look wonderful, miss Hiyori.”

“I see you have found your way. Welcome to my humble abode.” She nodded to the servant, who made herself scarce. She then took Sanji by the arm and started to walk along the hallway. “I hope you will like it here. I once had a client who lived here. He pledged to give me this house if I’d marry him, the fool. The girls here used to be my colleagues. Now that Wano is gone there is no need for them to be stuck there anymore. Now they are free to go, and some of them chose to live here. Some have even continued their services in another building. Ah, here we are.” The door panel was slid open and the pair walked into a big room with in the middle a few pillows on the ground, a small table with a tea pot and a simple flower bouquet. 

“A complete tea ceremony might be too much, but can I at least offer you a cup of tea?”

“That would be my pleasure, my lady.” They sat themselves, and Hiyori poured them a cup with smooth, trained movements.

“This place is beautiful. Very suiting to such a vision as yourself. I can fully understand why the other ladies decided to stay.” Hiyori chuckled lightly at that.

“You are most kind.”

They took a sip of tea and together with the smooth taste of the perfectly extracted tea leaves a gentle silence surrounded the two. It was perfect. She was perfect.

They stayed like that until the tea was finished, in silence apart from Hiyori’s enquiry on the taste of the tea, which Sanji answered was beyond words. Then a soft voice sounded behind the door panel.

“Miss, the other guest waiting for you at the gate. Should we let him in?”

“Oh, no I’ll go myself. If Sanji wouldn’t mind of course?” At that Sanji’s eyebrows lifted slightly. Another guest? Wouldn’t it just be the two of them? Well, that was quite awkward, wasn’t it. And here he thought he was the guest of honour today. But Sanji would not let this get him down. No, perhaps this was a guest for someone else that just needed the permission of the woman of the house to come inside, no reason to panic.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, my lady.”

“Hmm, Ahiko. Perhaps you could show Sanji the kitchen. I’ll join you afterwards.” She turned to Sanji. “If you’d like of course.”

“Yes, it would be a pleasure! That is what I am here for right? And to admire your wonderful appearance, naturally.” Hiyori smiled softly and they stood up.

“This way, mister Sanji.” The servant, Ahiko, let them through the building and eventually stopped at the far side of the house. They arrived at a small room, containing three low stoves made from clay, a few tables with utensils, barrels with all kinds of staple foods and plenty of pots. A different girl, his kitchen help according to Ahiko, was already squatting next to the stoves and working on building a fire as Ahiko showed Sanji the stone compartment that held his groceries. The knives that stood in blocks next to the cutting boards looked very appealing. The patterns on the blade were mesmerising and, ouch, yes the edges were razor sharp. Even though Sanji had brought his own set of knives, the urge to use these masterfully crafted knives was huge. After debating a bit with his inner self, he put away the resident knives and unwrapped his own from its casing. It would have felt like cheating otherwise. Then Sanji turned to the rows of expensive looking chests filling the cupboards. A quick inspection revealed that those contained some of the most delicious and fragrant spices Sanji had ever smelled. Though the kitchen itself wasn’t nearly as fancy as his kitchen on the Thousand Sunny, Wano being a relatively underdeveloped country and all, the spices made up for it and more.

He and his help started on the dish he had planned during the day, and a few minutes in his hands started to hurt again. Sanji kept a straight face, making sure to not show discomfort for when Hiyori decided to join him.

Half an hour went by and preparing the ingredients became more sloppy and imprecise. Slowly Sanji started to worry if something had happened to Hiyori.

Once Sanji had almost finished the dish his hand couldn’t stop trembling, both out of pain and worry. He made motion to go and search for the hostess, but just as he was about to leave the kitchen another servant announced that Hiyori had stationed herself in the dining hall with her other guest. Sanji had to recentre himself after hearing that news. There had to be a reason for her being with the other guest. Perhaps the other guest was some kind of high official on an important unannounced business related visit. With Wano all instable naturally that would get priority over a simple date. Yes, that had to be it.

Still holding on his naïve hope and excitement he placed the food on serving trays and carried them to the dining hall. Once he arrived at the door to the room he had to stand still for a moment. Two voices were heard from the hall, one was Hiyori and the other one was the important guest. The voice of the guest was unknown. At least, it had to be. If that were the person Sanji thought he sounded like…, that would be a mean thing. The voices sounded soft and intimate as if sharing a secret, a bit flirtatious even. Knowing Hiyori’s past occupation, that had to be her way of doing business perhaps? Nothing odd was going on here, again no reason for Sanji to panic yet! The kitchen help cleared her throat to announce their arrival. The flirtish banner stopped immediately and the persons shuffled to sit in a more proper position. The help opened the panel and Sanji carried his tray inside.

“Hiyori, my lady, we have brought the foo… What the hell are you doing here!?”

\----

Baffled and confused, shocked and crossed, the two man stared at each other, both tense but not moving a muscle. The almost tangible intensity in the air constricted them and time seemed to take an eternity. Their frozen state was only broken by Hiyori looking at Zoro in a childish excitement.

“Tadaa, Surprise! Do you like it?” She was beaming with anticipation for his reaction.

“… what?”

“You said you loved Sanji’s cooking, so I brought him here to make dinner for us. Do you like it?” Only then did Zoro break eye contact with Sanji and turn to Hiyori with a confused look on his face. Zoro took a while to observe her face, and slowly his scowl turned into something sweeter, like a parent would look when they had to comment on a very badly made drawing of their child.

Sanji saw them look at each other and it made his stomach turn. A mental fight was raging inside him. He felt betrayed, disappointed. Hiyori hadn’t want him, she had just wanted his cooking. He wanted to turn around and run away, away from this embarrassment. But no. He had decided that no matter what circumstances he would make a lady happy, even if he was not going to like it. He was not going to break that rule now, most definitely not in front of Zoro. Sanji was at least going to take her wanting him to cook as a compliment, set the table, dine with the two and he was going to enjoy it and no one was going to notice his hurt.

He walked forward and put down the food at the same time as that Zoro replied Hiyori with a soft yes. Sanji could notice the man was lying by the way he slightly raised his voice. He had a huge urge to say something about it, but instead he sat down in front of the two and started to explain his dishes. Hiyori was listening with wonder and was looking at Zoro at each dish explained to see his reaction. Small tell tales let Sanji knew that Zoro had difficulties maintaining his composure. His face showed a subtle flickering between something dark, a mix of anger and discomfort, and a soft look that Sanji had not yet been able to connect to one of Zoro’s emotions but looked oddly familiar. The flickering might have gone hand in hand with Zoro’s gaze shifting between Sanji and the woman next to him. Soon the dishes where explained and the food served, so all there was to do left was eat.

Hiyori tried to hold a pleasant conversation, talking about the shutting down of the factories, the reopening of Moruga Port for common people, the talk about vandalism of the Holy Orochi Castle Branch and so on. Each topic she tried to involve Zoro, asking questions like “Isn’t it great, Zoro?” or “Perhaps you could take me there some day?” once she was reciting the places outside of Wano Momonosuke had told her about. Zoro would only grunt or give very short answers while averting Sanji’s and even Hiyori’s eyes, clearly very uncomfortable with the whole ordeal. This irritated Sanji immensely. Even though he fully agreed that them being in the same room at the same time was a horrible idea and that this situation was most unpleasant, this was not how you treated a lady! You should respond enthusiastically, always agree with her no matter what, and let her decide the subject! So that is what Sanji did instead of the ungrateful bastard.

A stranger who would have seen the three would have laughed, or cried depending on their mood. A table with delicious food, two on one side with the woman talking and leaning towards the man who stiffly tried to pretend he wasn’t there, and on the other side a man focussing al his attention at the woman who barely acknowledged his existence. It was quite sad and very draining for everyone except the woman, who was apparently obnoxious to the heavy atmosphere.

So when Hiyori had to excuse herself for a bathroom break, Sanji dropped his pretence directly.

“Tssh…” Sanji clicked with his tong as he lit his cigarette. “All the hardship that she went through, and this is how you treat her. You really don’t know when you have to be fucking grateful.” Zoro tensed his crossed arms in response, though contradictory he somehow seemed more comfortable now that he didn’t have to contain his discomfort.

“How can I be grateful when I don’t even like having you here? Things where going just fine and now…” Zoro mumbled. Sanji wouldn’t take that.

“And here I hoped you had at least learned some manners. I don’t care if you like this or not, I most certainly do not, but you stop pouting, tell her you loved it, how wonderful she is for arranging this, and you praise her into heaven. Man, I really don’t get how she put up with you until now.” Sanji took a drag from his cigarette. “And you better stop this pretence now before she gets hurt. I mean, really, you liking someone. Now that is the best joke I’ve heard today.”

“Oi. Watch it, cook.”

“Hah, this person without a heart, without any appreciation of beauty or people. Him courting the most idolised woman on whole Wano!? Two days ago I would have eaten both my shoes before believing that. Hell, knowing me I would have even made a delicious meal out of that. But no, here I see it with my own eyes. And now that I have witnessed this abomination, will most definitely make sure to put a stop to it. I don’t know how you lured her in, but anyone who is courted by this troglodyte deserves saving.”

“Cook, you are really getting on my nerves here!”

“Really quite the player too. Because you know what, he has no morale and has no consideration for others. Playing with her feelings like that. So you get into her panties, and than? For now it is all fun an games, but one day Luffy will want to set sail and you will just abandon her without remorse, leaving behind a crying woman. I suspected it, but I never knew you had that kind of evil in you. I am very disappointed in you. Huh, you really are a monster….”

“ENOUGH!” With both fists Zoro hit the table. The platters rattled and a few cups fell over. The first time since the start of the dinner Sanji met Zoro’s gaze and the look in his eye directly stopped Sanji in his angry rattling. Only his enemies had seen this look and not many had survived it. But together with the hate, also something breakable showed itself. With a pang Sanji realised he had just released hidden frustrations that had accumulated over the past few days and by doing so stepped over the boundary, then put a knife in it, and twisted it for good measure, twice. Zoro was shaking with contained anger and his clenched teeth made his words filled with repressed emotions.

“You… you have know idea what you’re talking about. You have no idea… how hard it was for me to accept this, to allow myself this. You have no right to tell me this. I have finally found someone with who things might actually work and I am not going to let _you_ take that from me. So you better back off now before I might actually want to kill you!” They stared in perfect stillness for what felt like hours before Zoro let go of a huge sigh and looked away. “And I was not planning on leaving her behind like that.” Sanji’s brain did a quick calculation and came to a heavy conclusion. No. That bastard wouldn’t… right?

“So then… when Luffy wants to set sail again… you will stay, with her?” Zoro lifted his head and looked Sanji in the eye defiantly.

“And what is it to you? Don’t you hate me or something anyways?”

“That’s…” What? Yes of course, but no, but.. yes? No! Sanji had daydreamt about a life without the bastard, but to actually have that possibility… it felt wrong on so many levels.

“You don’t really think about leaving… us, right?” Sanji silently cursed the unwanted tremble in his voice. “You can’t do that! Think about the crew, think about Luffy’s dream!”

“Hah,” Zoro sneered. “so almighty Sanji Vinsmoke is afraid someone is going to leave the crew for a while? You of all people should see the irony that.” After his arrival on Wano, Sanji had not talked to anyone about his leave to Whole Cake Island. It was a sensitive subject and he was greatly ashamed of both his actions and his official surname. To hear these words and implications behind them was like Zoro stabbing him with one of his swords, or worse. It was a fair move, seeing how Sanji had gone to far just now, but still Sanji’s insides felt like they were being ripped apart. Both the urge to either kick an apology out of the guy or run away and hide in his futon were fighting for dominance. He didn’t have to make a choice though, as a soft voice came from the door.

“Zorojuro, is everything alright? I’m sorry for intruding…” Hiyori watched the two men in uncertainty, not sure if she was welcome in the room. Zoro looked away and clenched his jaw shut. Sanji cleared his throat.

“Yes, or course, my dear.” Sanji rose himself to his feet. “I am so sorry, but I think I’ll have to go. It was wonderful dining with you, my lady.” He kissed Hiyori’s hand and retreated from the mansion, unsure what to do next. 


	4. Chapter 4

“Yea, they’ll need to break up.”

After Sanji had fled the disaster ‘date’, he had thrown himself in a nearby bar. Women with dubious intent and drinks with unknown content were a debatable but effective way to get his mind of the matter. He came back to the barracks quite early, but smashed to the bone. The guys in the barracks had stopped there card game and made sure to laugh at his state of drunkness. He couldn’t remember taking of his clothes, but could remember Usopp saying Nami had asked for him to visit tomorrow. So, once he had finished a very late and thus lonely breakfast he had found Nami at her landlady’s place, drawing lines across a map. After she was updated on all gossip concerning his late night adventures, she had claimed Sanji’s promise to help with the treasure hunt. Somehow Nami had arranged for Komachiyo to join them to make their trip even faster and soon they had found the rock formation under which the treasure had been hidden. Its destruction had been a pretty effective way for Sanji to get rid of some pent-up aggression.

So there they were, Nami was contently hugging her box full golden coins during their ride back to town when Sanji had inquiry about her thoughts on the idea of Zoro and Hiyori as a couple.

“Ah, so you knew.”

“Yea, saw them being all lovely dovely with each other during one of my errant at Orochies Castle. It almost made me puke. Just her bodyguard my ass. I even lost some money because of that. Never should have made that bet.”

“So… you bet on them breaking up soon?”

“No, its not that. Even though I did bet on that.” Nami added with a smirk. “I just don’t like her. She is so manipulative. First seducing her victims and then emptying their pockets. Just look at what she did to those poor people of Flower Capital. Using peoples feelings to get more money, she really doesn’t have a heart.”

Sanji snorted. “Though you are never heartless in my eyes Nami-swan, she does sound a bit like you.”

“Yes exactly! Can’t have someone else do that to Zoro!”

\----

Sanji had found Chopper in the botanical gardens picking some healing herbs. Apparently the SMILE antidote was still not perfected, but they had come close. Next to removing the SMILE effect, the prototype caused nonstop tapping feet. Both had agreed that that might even be worse than always looking happy. Sanji had helped picking some medical herbs, along with some plants to use as garnish or spice. He had also taken the opportunity to learn more about the healing properties of the local spices he was stocking on. Eventually, with all needed herbs gathered, Sanji had asked Chopper the same question he had asked Nami.

“Zoro is dating Hiyori?! Oh gosh, that is amazing. I am so happy for them. He will get so healthy now.” To Sanji’s dismay Chopper had dropped his basked with herbs and was dancing around clapping his hooves.

“Tshh, how does them being together even make him healthy?”

“Well, being in a relationship actually increases your health. I’ve read multiple articles where they explain that the hormones released when having a partner stimulates the immune system. Next to that there is the benefit of a lowered blood pressure, less anxiety, a heightened pain control, better stress management, faster healing, and less substance abuse. I am really hoping for that last bit. If I got paid for every time I have had to tell Zoro to cut down his alcohol intake I could buy a whole new infirmary!” The dreamy look on Choppers face was too adorable, so Sanji ruffled his hat. “Then again, those benefits only count for long term relationships, which would means Hiyori would have to come with us. Oeh great! More nakama!”

“Or that Zoro has to stay here.” Sanji saidl. At that Chopper stopped walking.

“Well then, we better convince her to join us.”

\----

He found Franky helping build and refurbish houses in Ebisu town. Due to the poor living conditions many houses had a lot of pent-up renovation work to do. Some houses even had to be broken down and built up again due to rotten foundations. At the moment Franky was working in hammering new wooden poles in the ground. Sanji’s kicks provided to be very useful for ramming the poles deep into the soil. Once the foundation was done Sanji had asked the question. Franky had not been very surprised at the news about the couple.

“Ah yes, I had suspected as much, with all those nights he didn’t sleep at our dorms. Good for Zoro-bro, she is hot. I’ll have to think about where to add another room on the Sunny.”

“Wait, so you think she is going to sail along?”

“Yea, now that the borders have opened I think Hiyori will want to see the world, and what better way than boarding our superrr ship? AOW!”

“Hmm, don’t you think she is just going to make Zoro weak? She doesn’t have fighting skills or other talents we could use on the ship. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing her face everyday, we already have two beautiful ladies to feast my eye upon. I feel dirty saying this,” Sanji silently apologised to Hiyori in his head, “but other than being there for Zoro, she would just be another load.”

“Perhaps Usopp and I have to invent a superrr long distance Den Den Mushi for them.”

\----

Usopp was already working on an invention of his own, though perhaps not an as useful one.

“You see, when you want to butter your toast you first have to take the butter from the cooler right? Then the clump of butter is just always way too hard to slice and the slices become either too thick or too thin. But the struggle is not over yet. Once you have your piece of butter and try to spread butter on your toast, don’t you have that problem that the butter is too hard and you break your toast? Now here I have the solution: the EZ-butter-slice-omatic. You place the stick of butter here, press this and then, oh woops… I see this still needs a lot of improvement.”

“But Usopp, can’t you just warm the butter a bit to soften it before slicing?”

“Oh… I didn’t think about that.” Sanji laughed at Usopp’s disappointed face.

“He, so I was wondering. Do you think Zoro would be able to maintain a long distance relationship?”

Usopp looked surprised. “Where does that question come from?” And Sanji told him about Zoro’s romantic affairs. Usopp had to take a while to get used to the idea of Zoro having romantic feelings.

“I mean, all I get from that guy is love for booze and sleep. The idea of seeing him with someone is quite disturbing.”

“Haha, yes I agree.” Sanji snickered. “The idea of him staying here just to be with her is also quite unbelievable. You and Kaya have done quite well all those years, so I was wondering what your thought are on that subject.”

“Hmm… well, you know that I am the world’s most amazing romantic. But next to that… At least once every month Kaya and I exchange the sweetest of letters. Sending letters via the News Coos is quite expensive, and we have to use code language in case the Marines intercept the letters, but we make it work. We write about what we’ve been doing, the things we’ve learned and talk about our hopes and fears. I think it works because we still use each other as confidants. Zoro is as emotional as a cracker is wet, so yea… Can’t really see it happening.”

“Figured as much. Thanks Usopp. Perhaps you can sell the butter-slicer to midwinter islands.”

\----

Brook was more difficult to find. Sanji had expected him to be at one of the town squares playing music, but actually he found him teaching at a primary school. Of course the subject was music, but instead of him playing the instruments he was teaching and conducting a small ensemble and choir. The drums didn’t really follow a rhythm, the strings were still struggling with how to make a sound and the choir was very out of tune, but all in all they produced a relatively pleasant cacophony.

After Brook’s class was done, he and Sanji met up for a cup of tea. After a nice discussion on the effect of music on the taste of citrus fruits Sanji had brought up the subject of Zoro. Naturally Brook had jealously said that perhaps Zoro now got to see Hiyori’s panties and Sanji had kicked Brook in the shin because that was not a way to talk about a lady. After complaining about the bruise that will form, which won’t because Brook has no skin, yohohoho!, they resumed on the topic.

“Ah yes, love. Did you know I had a fiancé once?”

“No I didn’t! Damn, tell me about it. How did you get to know her?”

“It was before I joined the Rumbar Pirates. I think I was around 20 years old, yes younger than you are now. I used to be a traveling merchant, selling clothing so I could sustain myself and pay for violin strings. Sometimes I played at the inns at which I stayed. It was one of those nights that I found myself captivated by the daughter of the innkeeper. Not only was she a piece of art to look at, but also a very good pianist and singer. We jammed all night long, ow the songs that we played. I can still remember the sound of her voice and the colour of her panties yohoho! I decided to stay for a couple of weeks and at the end of that time we had fallen in love and were engaged. Don’t look like that, we were still young and love makes you do crazy things. Getting married as fast as possible was in fashion anyways, so I was soon asking her father for permission. For a while I kept in the neighbourhood, keeping my trading route on one island as I visited her each week. But then the day came on which the Rumbar Pirates docket at the island. It had always been my dream to become a traveling international musician, so when they offered me a permanent position on their ship I had to make a choice between my first love and my long time dream. You know which I choose.”

“Damn, Brook. That is quite the story you have there. Don’t you ever regret having made that decision?”

“The first few years yes. The break up had been hard and I was sad for many months. Did you know break ups are a great inspiration for writing music? I wrote hundreds of them while mending my heart. But after a while I acknowledged that I would have become alienated from myself if I had given up my dream. And you know, when we sailed past her island ten years later she had married a woman and had three children. She confessed to me that logically things would never have worked out between the two of us anyways and that made me very happy.”

“She was gay? That’s rude. Couldn’t she just have told you that from the beginning?”

“Well young man, sometimes it just takes a while for a person to truly understand themselves.”

\----

It was almost dark when Sanji found Robin in the library browsing through ancient looking history books. Sanji had offered to help her with her research, but had to admit he didn’t know what he could do to help. Robin had said she had just the task for him. So now here he stood holding the candle just right to lighten both the scroll and her notebook while she copied a very intricate looking glyph. Knowing she could multitask perfectly well Sanji asked her if she knew about the two.

“I think I knew well before they realised what was going on.” Robin said with that small smile of hers. “They were kind of obvious for someone who knows what to look for. But I am very happy for them. I am mostly happy for him. It seems he has finally found someone who he allows himself to love, I am very proud.” Ah yes, Zoro had mentioned something about that, allowing himself and shit. Sanji heard Robin chuckle.

“At least now we know that Zoro-san is not completely uninterested in female beauty. Cook-san, can I tell you a secret?” The gleam in Robin’s eyes made it very hard for Sanji to say no. This was going to be juicy. “When I had just joined the crew, would you believe me if I said I made advances on swordsman-san?”

Sanji choked in his own spit. “What!? You… no way!”

“Shocking and unbelievable, I know. When I was living at Alabasta it was pretty common for crewmates to hook up for a quick thing, so I thought that was the case here as well. I still had to earn Zoro-san’s trust so I thought that perhaps that was a way to go. Aside form that, the guy is just exactly my type.” As she showed a very cute, though little bit predatorial smile, a part of Sanji’s understanding of the world was flipped upside-down. She really was an enigma.

“I wasn’t surprised at him declining,” Robin continued, “as the Strawhat Pirates are a small crew and flings never do small groups any good, but what I was most surprise of was lack of any physical reaction. And believe me I didn’t hold back. Most would at least get a little excited at my advances, but the only thing he showed was irritation. Truly an amazing creature our swordsman-san is. And here I though he just didn’t have the capability for enjoying women’s bodies.”

“How rude of him, to have rejected you. You know I would never do that to a lady.”

“And you’d still do yourself good to develop on that before someone with ill intentions makes use of that. Thou perhaps that has already happened during your bitter-sweet adventure at Whole Cake Island.”

“Oké, point taken.”

\----

Sanji came back to the barracks with a bag filled with numerous snacks. It might not be his cooking, but he thought Luffy would appreciate it nonetheless. The living quarters were already lively with Usopp and Franky discussing various ways to amplify the Den Den Mushi system and Brook warming up his violin playing. Luffy had been quietly listening to Brook, but at the smell of Sanji’s snacks he launched himself towards the cook yelling “SNACKS! You cannot hide from meeee!’.

“Not so fast, Luffy. Go sit in that corner and wait for me to finish making tea. If I see you pointing even one hair towards the food I will personally make sure you’ll not be eating meat for a month once we get back to the Sunny.”

“Nowww Sajni, you are so mean to me.”

“Yes I am.”

Miraculously Sanji’s teamaking was left undisturbed by greedy rubbery fingers. As a reward for his good behaviour Sanji prepared a platter and served the teary, drooling, impatiently shaking captain first. It was like showing the sun to someone rescued from the darkest of cellars. At least Luffy was always thankful.

With a cup of tea in hands Sanji set himself next to the guy vacuuming in the snacks.

“Hey Luffy.”

“Whawszit?”

“So, hypothetically. What would you do if one of us decided to stay on Wano a little longer?”

“Wwhiwhoubauwltay” Luffy swallowed the food that accumulated in his mouth and throat and tried again. “I mean, we would all stay. What is a few days in the grand scheme of things right?”

“No I mean, if the person would want to stay here indefinitely?”

“Oh, let me think about that.” Luffy rested his chin on his fist, with both his elbows resting on his knees. He looked quite sophisticated like that. It only took a few seconds though before he went back to his natural goofy pose. “Well, depending on their reason to stay I would give them while off I think. I would be very sad of course. Finding One Piece with a part of the crew missing will almost be impossible do we’d have to find someone to replace them in the meantime. It would be difficult, but I think we can manage without one of us for a little while.”

“Hmm. When I left the crew you made sure to get me back with all force. Why did you?”

“’Cause you are my cook off course! I can’t eat anything else than your food!”

“But your not even eating my food right now.”

“I know.” Luffy dead-panned and continued eating. “But you can’t convince me that you made the choice to leave yourself.”

“It was only to protect you.” Sanji mumbled in shame. Luffy placed an arm along Sanji’s shoulder and put on a rare serious face.

“And I appreciate that, but let it be clear that we as a crew can take a hit. Together we are stronger than apart so to doubt our strength is to doubt our nakama-ship. As a captain I wish that you have learned your lesson. The next time you doubt us know that I will not be so nice.”

“Yes Luffy. And once again, thank you for coming for me.”

“Always. So what is this all about?”

“Uuhm… So there is perhaps a possibility that maybe Zoro might want to stay here with Hiyori?”

Luffy bursted out in bouldering laughter. “Ah man, Zoro is such a softy.”

\----

Later that night Chopper stormed in with a big grin on his face. They did it, they made a successful SMILE cure! For the Strawhats this only meant one thing: soon they would be hoisting the anchors. Sanji never thought that the prospect of setting sail would cause his bile to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you ever play those RPGs where you have to talk to numerous NPCs and then do things based on the info they gave you, but you always just skip through the dialogue and have to re-interact with all the NPCs to be able to finish your quest which takes way to long and you eventually just look up the answer online?  
> No?


End file.
